John F. Kennedy

"And so, my fellow Americans, ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country."

"Do not pray for easy lives. Pray to be stronger men."

"For time and the world do not stand still. Change is the law of life. And those who look only to the past or the present are certain to miss the future."

"Efforts and courage are not enough without purpose and direction."

"I look forward to a great future for America - a future in which our country will match its military strength with our moral restraint, its wealth with our wisdom, its power with our purpose."

"It is an unfortunate fact that we can secure peace only by preparing for war."

"Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe to assure the survival and the success of liberty."

"The cost of freedom is always high, but Americans have always paid it. And one path we shall never choose, and that is the path of surrender, or submission."

"There are risks and costs to action. But they are far less than the long range risks of comfortable inaction."

Coming Home

As the time nears for me to return to the USA, I've had mixed feelings. All this internal conflict has been keeping me up at night, but I'm hoping that writing about it helps me work it out a little.

Leaving Guanajuato will be bittersweet. I'm almost positive that I will never have an experience like this again. I mean, I've been living in a foreign country for five months with no expenses, hardly any schoolwork and few responsibilities except to soak up the culture and make memories. I've had such a great time in Mexico and I know that I will miss Guanajuato, Mexican food, the kids at El Buen Pastor, and the ability to travel cheaply.

At the same time, I am so excited about seeing my family and friends again. I can't wait to be greeted with twirly hugs and laughter. It will be so great to be able to relax with people and not have to worry about a language barrier. Plus, we have dryers, real ranch dressing, dryers, and fluffy pillows. I'm so excited about being able to play frisbee again, go swing dancing, eat my mom's delicious food, and just be with the people that I love the most. And it will be Christmas season when I get back, which is always wonderful.

This is not what has been keeping me up at nights. While I've been in Guanajuato, I haven't had to deal with all the pressures, worries, uncertainties that bombard me when I'm at home. Not that I'm overwhelmed or feel stressed all the time while I'm home, but getting away from all of that has been nice. Five months is a long time to be away. I don't know what all has changed in my absence, and that freaks me out a little. Real life will pick back up and the last few days it's all come back to me. I really want to enjoy the last few weeks I have here and being tired and grumpy isn't going to accomplish that. I'm trying to trust God with everything, but that's always easier said than done. I know that when I get home all this will seem really stupid, but right now it's huge. Just keep praying.

FRIENDS

I know that this has nothing to do with my personal growth or anything, but this is a FRIENDS clip that I think is absolutely hysterical. Enjoy!

Crisp

I love cold weather. Not cold like January cold, but that crisp autumn cold. I love the smell of cold air. I know it doesn't really have a smell per say, but I always am reminded of apple picking, camping, Thanksgiving, bonfires, hot chocolate, long sleeves, fall leaves.

As a kid, fall meant soccer games at Nyack College. I remember sitting on the wall wrapped in blankets cheering on the men's soccer team. I still remember John Corby because he always got a red card due to his outbursts of temper. I remember walking along under the wall and having the college students shout, "hey, Dr. Heiser's kids!" We also always went apple picking with the college kids or some of the other professors and their families. I remember how every time the red wagon would tip over and dump Matt or Susie and all our apples onto the ground. We always played in the hay and climbed all over the old tractor at the apple orchard. I remember being afraid of the big cow that they had there and how I eventually screwed up the courage to pet it or feed it grain. Those were such great times.

Now fall involves new things: football games, frisbee tournaments, long sleeve shirts, raking huge piles of leaves only to scatter them by jumping into the piles, bonfires at Thanksgiving. I always love the start of a new school year. I get to see my friends again and of course, buy school supplies. I love new pencils, notebooks, erasers, post-its, highlighters. My birthday is in the fall too, so that is another plus for the season. It may get cold later in SC than it does in NY, but the colors are just as spectacular - with trees of brilliant red, orange, and yellow. I love walking along the sidewalks crunching the fallen leaves and acorns.

The memories I have of the autumns of my life have changed with time. I know that they will continue to be shaped by my current stage of life and that is such an exciting prospect. However, that first breath of cold, crisp air, no matter where I am or what I am doing, always brings me back to soccer games and apple picking. Someday, I hope to build similar memories with my own family.

Here In Your Presence

Found in your hands, fullness of joy
Every fear suddenly wiped away - here in Your presence
All of my gains now fade away
Every crown no longer on display - here in Your presence
Heaven is trembling in awe of Your wonders
The kings and their kingdoms are standing amazed

Here in your presence, we are undone
Here in your presence, Heaven and Earth become one
Here in your presence, all things are new
Here in your presence, everything bows before You

Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way

~

Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak of them, they would be too many to declare.
Psalm 40:5

The Heiser Babies

I have the best brothers and sisters in the world. I love them so much! They are not only hysterically funny, and always keep me on my toes, but they are always an encouragement to me in my walk with Christ. So many times when I have been talking to them, they have asked me what God has been teaching me or what I have been reading in my Bible. Not only that, but their walks with Christ always challenge me to keep pursuing a deeper relationship myself. Jeff has this incredible ability to understand and dig into the Word, Matt has this deep passion and excitement about the things of God, and Susie is so faithful about reading her Bible and doing daily devotions.

As the oldest, I couldn't be more proud of my brothers and sister. I know that God is going to bless them in anything that they do, and I hope that they will always know that I support them and want to be a part of their lives. I hope that God will help me live my life in a way that is encouraging to them and that they can learn from me just as I am learning from them. I hope that they can be proud that I am their sister just as I am proud that they are my siblings. I hope they know how much I love them and how glad I am that we have the close relationships that we have.

So, if you guys happen to read this...I love you all so very much! Keep seeking God and let me know if you ever need anything.

Why Blogging?

One thing I've learned from my time in Guanajuato is that I love to blog. I had never blogged before and the idea of keeping a journal was always daunting. But Mexico and Jessica have changed this. Mexico, because I discovered this new pasttime while blogging for Wofford, and Jessica, because she keeps a personal blog, and I've found that I love the idea.

So my goal for this blog are to write about anything and everything. Things I am thinking about, goals for my future, memories that I want to remember, the ways that God has blessed me, and anything else that comes up. Funny youtube videos, favorite quotes, special poems, recipes, pictures, and lists of everything under the sun.

I named this blog "scattered grace" because I want to be able to look back on the posts and see how God scattered grace in my life. I got the name from a book by John Piper: Let the Nations Be Glad: The Supremacy of God in Missions. The quote goes like this: "The pain of our shattered plans is for the purpose of scattered grace."