Firefly Butts

A few minutes later, Unc walked up next to me and hung his arms across the fence railing.  In his hand he held an empty mason jar with holes punched in the lid.  He stood there a long time turning the jar.  Inside, a single lightning bug fluttered off the sides of the glass. Every five or six seconds, he'd light his lantern.  Unc turned the jar in his hand.  "Scientists say that these things evolved this way over millions of years."  He shook his head.  "That's a bunch of bunk.  I don't think an animal can all-of-a-sudden decide it wants to make light grow out its butt.  What kind of nonsense is that? Animals don't make light."  He pointed to the stars.  "God does that.  I don't know why or how, but I'm pretty sure it's not chance.  It's not some haphazard thing he does in his spare time."

He looked at me, and his expression changed from one of wonder to seriousness, to absolute conviction.  "Chase, I don't believe in chance."  He held up the jar.  "This is not chance, neither are the stars."

I was hurting inside, and the streaks shining on my face didn't scratch the surface at telling how much.

He tapped me gently in the chest.  "And neither are you.  So, if your mind is telling you that God slipped up and might have made one giant mistake when it comes to you, you remember the firefly's butt."

The laughter walked up behind me, wrapped around my tummy, and tickled my ribs, finally bubbling out of my mouth - taking the hurt parts with it.  That's something Unc was good at.  He gave me his laughter and took my pain.

...

That night, I lay in bed watching my stars swim around inside the glass and light my room in flashes.  Before he turned out my light, Unc squatted next to my bed and tucked me in.  It was growing colder, so he wrapped me in a cocoon and pushed the hair off my face.  "I'm pretty sure that if your dad had read those ads and could have answered them, he would have.  And in my book, no matter what the state says or does, he still can."  He tapped the lid of the jar.  "If God can make a firefly's butt light up like a star, then anything is possible.  Anything."

Chasing Fireflies by Charles Martin (pg. 182-184)

Love what you do, do what you love...

I realized the other day that I haven't found what I love to do yet.  I hope that I'll love teaching, but I don't know for sure if I will.  I realized this because lately several people have told me how much they love what they are doing right now.  Kasey loves being a graduate student, she loves studying history, doing research, teaching, and the idea of writing a book.  Jeff loves seminary.  He says that it's been a life-changing experience, and he loves every minute of his life out in St. Louis.  Matt absolutely loved his time abroad.  He loves studying languages, and he's so good at it.

I haven't found that yet.  I do love history, but sometimes I wonder what else I could do.  I didn't hate graduate school, but I didn't love it either.  I was good at it, but I am pretty sure that I don't want to continue in that direction.  And I'm afraid that I'll hate teaching or that I won't be good at it.    I know I have to try it to know for sure, but part of me doesn't even want to try.  I want to do something interesting that means something, that influences people, and that I love.  What if that isn't teaching high school history?  I just wish I could jump in with both feet like my brothers do.

I believe that I shall look upon the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!

Wait for the Lord; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the Lord!

Psalm 27: 13-14

Run the Race

Last summer, Bob Collins challenged me to start running.  He said that I would be a good middle-distance runner and that I should sign up for some 5K runs.  I did start running, using the Couch-2-5k program, but I didn't get the chance to run any races until this spring.  Then I ran two in a month, and now I'm hooked.

The first 5K I ran was a Color Run.  It was so much fun!  They don't time you and there are so many people running that there is no pressure on finishing at a certain pace or even running.  Hayes was my running buddy for this race, and we were appropriately covered in color by the end.  It was a complete blast!

Color Run Atlanta 2013

The second run I did was at the beginning of May.  My friend Kasey's aunt died earlier this semester, and some of her aunt's friends organized a run to raise money for the kids.  I knew this was really important to Kasey, so I told her I would run it with her.  We went down to Enterprise, MS, after leaving Starkville at 5:15 am in order to get there for the race's start at 8:00.  It was a beautiful run, and the weather was perfect!  I was able to run most of it, only walking for two short stretches, and I finished in about 40 minutes.  After we burned all those calories, we replenished them at Cracker Barrel.  It was a great way to spend a Saturday!

Fight Like a Girl 5K

I've told Susie that we are going to run a 5K this summer together.  I'm keeping my eyes open for one that is nearby and cheap to register.  Hopefully this will keep me motivated to run over the summer.

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the price?  So run that you may obtain it.

1 Corinthians 9:24

The End of an Era

How can I have a Master's Degree?  I am only 24 years old!  It's hard to believe, but I am so thankful for my time at Mississippi State.  I made great friends, I learned a lot about history and about how to be an adult, and I graduated debt free!  All the glory goes to God because without Him, I would not have accomplished any of this.  

It's strange to think that I am done with school.  I'm sure that I will take some individual classes in the future, but I don't think I'll ever be a full-time student again.  It's simultaneously a relief and a little scary.  I have no idea what God has in store for me over the next year, but I'm excited to find out, and I'm trying to trust Him to guide me and create opportunities for me.  Not having homework, though, now that's GREAT!  

I want to teach high school history at a Christian school.  That's my dream.  I want to be able to talk about sin and grace and sovereignty in the context of history because, as Christians, we need to look at past events through the lens of Scripture just as much as current and future ones.  I'm reading Francis Schaeffer's How Should We Then Live? right now, and I think that it is helping me wrap my mind around some of these ideas.  I definitely want to incorporate all or some of the book into my classes.  

On the other hand, the idea of moving somewhere and finding something temporary to do is also appealing.  The idea of having a career for the rest of my life is a little daunting in its seeming permanence, and having another year to goof around (not exactly what I mean) might be nice.  Although, maybe it's time to grow up and be an adult with an adult job.  We'll see what this summer holds, and if I have a full-time teaching job, then I'll go that route, but if not, then I'll have a little adventure.  Both situations would be an adventure, actually. 

Thus says the Lord: "Stand at the crossroads, and look, 

and ask for the ancient paths, 

where the good way is; and walk in it,

 and find rest for your souls."

Jeremiah 6:16

Waverly Plantation

On Tuesday my Material Culture class went on a field trip!!  I felt like I had reverted back to 5th grade, and it was a blast!  We are studying plantation landscapes and material culture, and so we visited one of the local plantations homes: Waverly Plantation in West Point.  Here are some pictures of the house and grounds:

The house was beautiful - it needed a serious paint job and some tlc - but it was gorgeous.  The grounds were also really pretty.  The current owners have let the gardens look natural, rather than having distinct beds or planned designs.  They also have a bunch of peacocks, which is kind of odd, but the birds are beautiful and so impressive when they present their feathers.  

The tour was strange, to put it lightly.  The Snow family lives in the house, and they basically hide when tours come through.  Our tour guide was one of the most awkward people I've ever met.  He kept pausing after every sentence, like he wanted us to applaud or something.  He also acted out several of his stories, which was just plain weird.  Apparently, Waverly is unique because it actively tries to ignore the slave presence.  Our guide kept talking about the "servants" and he didn't want to tell us where the old slave quarters had been.  It was a very watered down version of antebellum history.  

Regardless, it was great to get out of the classroom, and to see some of the things we've been talking about in front of us.  After our tour, we came back to Starkville and got drinks and appetizers at Mugshots which was a great way to unwind.  All in all, an interesting and good day 

Culture of Grace in St. Louis

This past week was my spring break, and I spent four of my days off in St. Louis with Jeff.  It was really fun and pretty laid-back.  Jeff took me to the St. Louis Arch, a casino, and on a driving tour of downtown St. Louis.  I attended classes with him and went with him to tutor some Burmese refugee children.  While he was at work, I hung out at his house and did my own homework or chatted with his roommates.

Driving up there was an adventure.  I took I-55 the entire way, which meant that I didn't get lost and that I could set the cruise control at 75 mph and just go for 6 hours.  I got to drive through Memphis, which was the most complicated part of the trip, and the Arkansas delta before I came upon the rolling farmland of southwestern Missouri.  All in all, it was a beautiful drive.  The delta region was incredibly flat - huge farms for as far as the eye could see.  I drove past one town that had less than 400 people living there.  I don't know where the people there buy their groceries or go out to eat.  There really was nothing there.  Missouri has really pretty farmland.  Rolling hills, red barns, white farmhouses... It was beautiful.  On the way home I stopped for a minute at a really neat Catholic church that was perched in the middle of a small farming community.

 

It was so great to see Jeff and to hang out with him, but being on Covenant's campus and spending time with his roommates and the girls I stayed with made me realize just how spiritually empty Starkville can be.  I have good friends here, and I have loved my chats with Kasey and Amber, but it's just not the same as being surrounded by people who all desire to go into ministry and who are striving with everything that they are to serve and know God.  It's such an amazing and encouraging environment!

I also attended class with Jeff.  Greek was boring, but his Covenant Theology and Apologetics & Outreach classes were really interesting.  I had an "aha!" moment in Covenant Theology regarding infant baptism and the concept of "the people of God."  The professor for Apologetics was probably the nicest, sweetest, most loving, caring person I have ever encountered.  I could have just sat and listened to him for hours.  The day that I was there, he was telling the class about his garden, and it sounds absolutely incredible.  I've been inspired to have extensive flower gardens in my own yard someday.

The students in Apologetics were giving presentations on a book they had read, in this case, a biography of Francis Schaeffer.  The book sounded interesting, in general, but one of the presenters said something in his own personal testimony that really hit home with me.  He said that he grew up in a home where his parents created a "culture of grace" where he was never afraid to come to them with questions to to admit to wrong-doing.  He said that his parents assured him of their love for him and their grace and mercy when he had sinned.  I was struck by how wonderful a home that must have been and how much I want to create a similar "culture" in my own home someday.   I even think that that is something I can strive for in my classroom as well.  What an amazing thing to strive for in all my relationships!

Anyway, I basically came away from the trip refreshed and really hoping that I can find a job in St. Louis.  I want to mooch off of Jeff's friendships and connections, and be a part of that amazing community even if it is only on the periphery.  Plus, he could set me up with a roommate.  St. Louis has a lot to offer, and I really miss being around my siblings.

So, God, I don't know what you have planned for me for next year, but it would be really amazing if I could get a job in St. Louis.  No matter what though, I know that you are in control, and I trust you to help me find the right job in the right place where I can serve the people you bring into my life.  Thanks for having a plan that is bigger and better than I can even imagine. :)